{"id":605,"date":"2024-11-23T18:23:50","date_gmt":"2024-11-23T17:23:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cdasexologue.fr\/?p=605"},"modified":"2024-12-04T20:39:21","modified_gmt":"2024-12-04T19:39:21","slug":"et-toi-cetait-quand-ta-premiere-fois","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cdasexologue.fr\/index.php\/2024\/11\/23\/et-toi-cetait-quand-ta-premiere-fois\/","title":{"rendered":"Et toi, c’\u00e9tait quand ta premi\u00e8re fois ?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

C’est une question qui revient souvent lorsque l’on parle avec nos amis, qu’ils soient des adolescents ou des adultes, et qui pourtant montre bien la vision r\u00e9duite que l’on peut avoir de l’intimit\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quand on me pose la question, je r\u00e9ponds : \u00ab\u00a0Ma premi\u00e8re fois pour quoi ? Ma premi\u00e8re fois \u00e0 v\u00e9lo ? Ma premi\u00e8re dent? Ma premi\u00e8re mauvaise note ? Mon premier baiser ? Mon premier je t’aime ? Ma premi\u00e8re relation s\u00e9rieuse ?\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quand je r\u00e9ponds de cette fa\u00e7on, soit on me regarde avec de grands yeux, soit on me dit : \u00ab\u00a0bah, ta premi\u00e8re fois quoi, la premi\u00e8re fois que tu as couch\u00e9 !\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cela montre bien qu’aujourd’hui, le terme \u00ab\u00a0premi\u00e8re fois\u00a0\u00bb est grandement associ\u00e9 \u00e0 la premi\u00e8re p\u00e9n\u00e9tration, comme s’il y avait une course \u00e0 celui ou celle qui le fera le plus t\u00f4t, ou au contraire, le plus tard. Comme si la p\u00e9n\u00e9tration \u00e9tait le but ultime de toute relation. De plus, cette question refl\u00e8te bien l’hyperg\u00e9nitalisation de notre soci\u00e9t\u00e9, o\u00f9 tout passe par le sexe, et o\u00f9 la valeur de chacun est grandement imput\u00e9e aux prouesses sexuelles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mais o\u00f9 est la magie ? O\u00f9 est l’\u00e9rotisme ? O\u00f9 sont les \u00e9motions ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aujourd’hui, nous avons tendance \u00e0 mettre en avant le \u00ab\u00a0para\u00eetre\u00a0\u00bb avant \u00ab\u00a0l’\u00eatre\u00a0\u00bb. Est-ce r\u00e9ellement important de savoir quand le premier co\u00eft a eu lieu ? Est-ce que la relation n’est l\u00e9gitime que s’il y a eu cette \u00ab\u00a0premi\u00e8re fois\u00a0\u00bb, cette premier p\u00e9n\u00e9tration ?
N’est-il pas plus important de savoir quand nous avons senti une r\u00e9elle connexion \u00e9motionnelle avec l’autre ? Quand nous avons r\u00e9ussi \u00e0 nous montrer vuln\u00e9rable pour la premi\u00e8re fois ? Ou quand nous avons compris pour la premi\u00e8re fois que nous accordions notre confiance \u00e0 l’autre ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Une constatation que j’ai pu faire en abordant ce sujet, c’est que de plus en plus de personnes banalisent cette premi\u00e8re fois, assimil\u00e9e \u00e0 la premi\u00e8re p\u00e9n\u00e9tration.
J’ai pu entendre ce genre de phrases :
– \u00ab\u00a0Ma premi\u00e8re fois, je l’ai fait avec quelqu’un dont je me fichais, pour m’entra\u00eener, afin de ne pas d\u00e9cevoir le\/la prochain(e).\u00a0\u00bb
– \u00ab\u00a0Ma premi\u00e8re fois, c’\u00e9tait pour faire comme les autres, car j’\u00e9tais le\/la seul(e) de mon groupe d’amis \u00e0 ne pas l’avoir fait.\u00a0\u00bb
– \u00ab\u00a0Ma premi\u00e8re fois, on ne savait pas comment faire, donc c’\u00e9tait nul, j’en n’ai pas un bon souvenir.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Plut\u00f4t que de chercher la beaut\u00e9 de l’instant, les premiers \u00ab\u00a0je t’aime\u00a0\u00bb, les premiers baisers, les premiers sentiments, on veut tout de suite la premi\u00e8re p\u00e9n\u00e9tration, au risque de provoquer du d\u00e9go\u00fbt, de la douleur ou de la peur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Il faut apprendre \u00e0 d\u00e9g\u00e9nitaliser l’amour et les relations, sexuelles ou non.
N’est-il pas plus important de se sentir bien avec soi et avec l’autre, de pouvoir \u00eatre soi-m\u00eame, vuln\u00e9rable et \u00e9motionnellement ouvert, plut\u00f4t que de poursuivre cette course au co\u00eft, \u00e0 la performance ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nous avons tendance \u00e0 nous souvenir des choses n\u00e9gatives, des \u00e9checs, ou des conflits \/ comp\u00e9titions. Pourtant, les choses les plus simples et les plus anodines sont celles qui ont au final le plus d’importance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u00ab\u00a0Si l’on pouvait identifier nos derni\u00e8res fois avec autant d’\u00e9vidence que nos premi\u00e8res, il est certain que des milliers de moments seraient v\u00e9cus plus intens\u00e9ment.\u00a0\u00bb – Maud Ventura<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Il est temps d’apprendre \u00e0 ne plus se centrer uniquement sur nos pulsions physiques, afin de pouvoir travailler sur nos \u00e9motions, pour pouvoir rajouter cette touche de magie qui nous manque cruellement. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aller vers l’\u00e9veil \u00e9motionnel, c’est ajouter une touche d’extraordinaire \u00e0 l’ordinaire de notre quotidien. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

C’est une question qui revient souvent lorsque l’on parle avec nos amis, qu’ils soient des adolescents ou des adultes, et qui pourtant montre bien la vision r\u00e9duite que l’on peut avoir de l’intimit\u00e9. Quand on me pose la question, je r\u00e9ponds : \u00ab\u00a0Ma premi\u00e8re fois pour quoi ? Ma premi\u00e8re fois \u00e0 v\u00e9lo ? Ma […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":606,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[15,10,19,11,18,12],"class_list":["post-605","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexologie","tag-emotion","tag-erotisme","tag-premiere-fois","tag-sexologue","tag-therapeute","tag-therapie"],"yoast_head":"\nEt toi, c'\u00e9tait quand ta premi\u00e8re fois ? - CDA Sexologue<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cdasexologue.fr\/index.php\/2024\/11\/23\/et-toi-cetait-quand-ta-premiere-fois\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Et toi, c'\u00e9tait quand ta premi\u00e8re fois ? - CDA Sexologue\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"C’est une question qui revient souvent lorsque l’on parle avec nos amis, qu’ils soient des adolescents ou des adultes, et qui pourtant montre bien la vision r\u00e9duite que l’on peut avoir de l’intimit\u00e9. 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